George R. R. Perec

Lord Varys (who actually hold no land) was a plum and bald spy of myrish origins, lacking a manhood but full of low cunning, similar in many ways to a fat, fancy and fragrant arachnid. A sad rictus was on his lips.

" My king, alas, my tiny birds brought an awful information : your Hand has bought a farm."

A dandy of royal blood, a sly accountant colloquialy known as Pinky, a corrupt alumnus form Oldtown on Tywin's payroll and a traitor Kinsguard captain had strong words about it :
" Such a gallant and gracious man !
- And who shall comfort his poor widow ?
- Valar morghulis !
- Dark wings bring dark tidings !
- Not only that, Varys thought fit to add, but nobody can found your valonqar, my good king."
A booming shout rang.
" Who ? R...
- No, my king, your first sibling. Stannis.
- Ah."

Lord Arryn's ward was moving his buttocks in discomfort on his Iron Chair which a valliant victor of old had cast from his slain rivals' swords.
" Bah. What should I do ?
- I could find him for you, no doubt. For any hint I would pay a gross of gold dragons, two thousand stags and half a groat ; And a man bringing world of lost Stannis could obtain a lordship and Lysa Tully's hand.
- Too much !" Pinky said.
Varys had a quick look at him.
" You know, poor Jon's passing was intriguing in many ways. So fast, so painful... And his lordship was just consulting an old book about nobility.
- This stinks of a plot, his fat King had to admit. My in-laws' loyalty is doubtful.
- Do you know who I'd call in such a situation ?" Bold Barristan told him. " That old chap of yours, a Northman with a big wolf as his sigil. Lord Rickard Stark's son.
- Why not ? That's a a trustful man. And Lyanna's sibling..."

His own gay sibling cut in, oblivious of protocol.
" Lyanna ? Who is that Lyanna ?"
Our protagonist had a sigh.
" That's a long story. You know, during a Wrong Spring, at a joust...

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